Julie-anne (delerious) wrote in lostkidz,

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Hey there, i myself am not gay but i have a question that i hope you may be able to help me with... (sorry its kinda long, but i'm trying to give you as much info as possible)...
The situation:
My boyfriends younger brother, Ryan, is gay and doesn't know how to tell his brother, Andrew (my boyfreind).

A little background on whats been going on so far:
Ryan has already 'come out' to his mum, most of his freinds and oldest brother Craig, they were all fine with it, not a single problem but he has not yet told his dad and older brother (my boyf).
His mum told his dad, who was devestated and cried. Ryans dad was raised a Muslim but does not practice the religion (he is not strict about any traditions etc and did not raise his children Muslim) but this may have played a big part in his reaction, as homosexuality is not spoken of where he is from and is practically the death sentence. His dad is now in denial about the whole situation, he is not and has not been spiteful or hostile, he just doesn't speak of it, acknowledge it etc.

Okay, so back to the original question...

His older brother, Andrew has never been very accepting of homosexuality. He has never been abusive, never been cruel or harmful to gay people just not personally accepting. We have some openly gay freinds who he is fine with as long as they don't speak to detailed about relationships, issues etc.
I feel Andrew would see something like this as some sort of failure (on his part as an older brother etc) and an embarressment. He is in the Armed Forces so i guess he would also fear work friends and higher ranks finding something like this out. (yes the forces like to pretend they are accepting of homosexuality and bisexuality but they are NOT, something like this WOULD be used against people, even if it was an auntie's cousin's brother who was gay, they would still play on it.)
I am truly in two minds about how i think he would react, anyone else he would just laugh, joke it off, but be okay with it, but when its his own brother, thats a different story, suddenly its personal, especially when he is not the most accepting / open minded. BUT THEN, on the other hand this is his younger brother, they are VERY close and it would kill him to not speak to him. Also they are living together at the moment (with others, myself included).

These three brothers are very close and this sort of thing has the potential of turning bad which could very likely tear them apart, which would be devestating for his family, myself, freinds and especially Ryan.

This has been on my mind for awhile as i know it is something that has to happen but i know when it happens things are going to be different for awhile... any help, ideas, suggestions about how he can come out to his brother, or how i can help the situation, ways i can be there for my boyf etc
(sorry for the crossposting)
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