Kyle (soulmyst) wrote in lostkidz,
Kyle
soulmyst
lostkidz

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musings

Therapy does help a little but...

I wonder sometimes if there is more...
its like a dictation inside my head I hear/see sentances, paragraphs, entire speaches
long before I'm even past the first word... its like an entire alternate form of
emotionless feelings, as if I feel what I think I'm supposed to but the emotion thats
supposed to be behind the feeling just isn't there... its like I know I've said this same thing a hundred times before in a different way each time, but its wierd 'cause I don't really know if anyone understands what I'm going through... I'm not even sure if I do... I'm so self-destructive I don't know how it is I'm still alive, but I'm here fighting for some sort of self-control, but nobody taught me how... I don't know how to ask for help anymore, everytime I tried I was betrayed by the person... I have no trust nor love for anyone, not even myself... maybe I'm selfish to want such things as someone to love or even just to trust them, or to be understood, or to even want to kill myself and release myself from such selfishness, but that in itself is selfish... so where do I go from here?

Kyle and his
Shadow
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